The last post helped.

I’d thought I’d just say that I’m sick with the flu, so if my wording is off, please excuse me.

Like the title says, the last post about trusting guys helped. It was hard to write down my thoughts because I never talked about it before. Trusting was hard for me to do, but I found out that forcing myself to talk about this opened my view as to how I can fix it.

My uncle came over today; he’s the closest thing I ever had to a dad, so he’s really important to me. I used to distance myself away from him because I assumed he was just interested in my schooling. He holds this expectation that I can do anything I put my mind to. So, that was the relationship I thought we had.

So, instead of brushing him off, I talked to him without any bias or grudge. I just talked. It felt different. I felt like it was fine in trusting him for the first time, and it wasn’t stressful. I didn’t feel my muscles tense up, and I didn’t feel bad or mad. It was nice and refreshing.

I also feel a better connection with my boyfriend. I’ve been honest with him so far, and I’m letting him love me. It’s different. I feel like I can talk to him about more things than I used to. I told him my meds weren’t right for me, and he understood. We made a joke about it, and he’s not all that worried. I mean, he’s worried, but he’s not overly worried, like I thought he’d be.

Overall, it’d be really nice to do this with all sorts of people, and I’d love to see where it takes me. I just don’t care for girls because as a subspecies, we are melodramatic. And I suppose the only reason why I am is because of anatomy. It makes me so frustrated at times, and that is not good.

But anyways, I need to find something to eat. My uncle and mother have gotten on me because (fun fact) I’m a diabetic.