My Moods… (Trigger Warning)

I’ve been subconsciously suicidal all day. I only realized it now because I feel sad and empty. I binged all day to raise my blood sugar up so that I might die. Even now, I want to drink soda and eat an entire container of cookies because I don’t want to live anymore. The abilify isn’t helping anymore. 

I’m tired, and I’m hurting. And I’m snapping. I can feel it. I want to slit my wrists open and make everything stop, if only for a little while. I belong in a mental hospital right now. 

I haven’t gone to a mental hospital yet, but damn, I need to go. I swear, I’ve never found such a desire to commit suicide more in my life than ever. The only reason I can’t do it is because of my boyfriend. He’s in love with me, and… It’d kill him if I did it. He’s the only thing holding me together. And if he dies… 

Someone help me. I need help. 

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10 thoughts on “My Moods… (Trigger Warning)

  1. You are so loved. I know you don’t feel it but if I was there I would hold you and jump into a taxi with you to the nearest ER. Think. Is there someone who will come and take you? Can your boyfriend help?

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