Oh, come on, you didn’t let me finish. It’s not about the meds. I have a backup plan when it comes to that. It’ll be a little more… Unconventional, but it’ll be fine. Anyways, you guys know that I’m transgender, and I have not come out to my family or my boyfriend. My boyfriend would be supportive in everything, even if I wanted to transition. My mom, she wasn’t into transgender people and people who were gay/lesbian/bisexual/whatever… She’s unknowingly an asexual, but that’s for another blog post.
Anyways, there’s this Soap Opera, and there’s a transgender female on there. You got to see her struggle to talk to the man she loves about this, and people didn’t accept her. The owner of a large tabloid company ran these stories attacking her about being transgender, and it may have destroyed her relationship with this loving man who accepts her for who she is.
Meanwhile, my mom’s watching this, and she goes, “That’s sad. This is making me want to cry. I hope he accepts her.” Then I pointed out that people go through this every day. “People get kicked out of their homes. They get disowned. They even get killed.” So my mom says, “I’d never do that to my child.” So I say a silent “victory” in that moment, and so, I think she’d accept me if I came out of the closet.
Though, I still like wearing makeup and skirts, and she’d probably say, “But you aren’t transgender” for that reason. But, I talked to someone else that was transgender last year, and he said that “Men can wear skirts and makeup. You shouldn’t downplay your gender identity just because of that.” That’s why I still call myself a male. I have little to no dysphoria, and that’s pretty unusual. I mean, sometimes, I can’t stand my breasts or my hips (for those who don’t know, I have an hourglass shape) and it’s annoying. Still, I was made this way, and it doesn’t bother me much. I’m just kind of weird when it comes to my gender identity.
When it comes to my gender expression, I’m more of a femme male. Like, I identify as a guy, but I wear girls’ clothing for no apparent reason. My mom is fine with me wearing men’s clothing, and apparently, so is my cousin. They don’t think it’s weird. I don’t know what’s holding me back from dressing the part. I’m thinking it might be my boyfriend saying something. Maybe I’ll experiment with guys’ clothing and wear an outfit while he’s around and see what happens.
Anyways, I’m 400+ words in, and I don’t want to bore you guys, but that’s about all I want to talk about today. Besides, I haven’t talked about me being transgender in quite a while. I’m also trying to spice up my blog and not limit it to mental health. I don’t know, I think it’d be nice to gain some followers that are interested in all of me rather than just my schizoaffective disorder.