So, when I woke up today, I was really depressed.
I went on twitter and tried talking to my friends, but they ignored me. So I indirectly blew up at them. I told one that they weren’t a good friend and that they never bothered to talk to me for more than a week. I hated the other one… Then I told them that the only thing keeping me alive is my boyfriend, which I have to admit is true, and I ended the conversation there.
I kind of threatened my life there, but then, my mom kind of made me feel even more worthless today. And on top of that, a friend asked me how I was, and I told him I felt horrible. Then, he vented about his troubles, and he didn’t want to listen to mine. So I felt even more worthless.
So after a hard day, I relapsed. And I hate myself for it, and now, I feel like maybe I should just die. Maybe I should die and have only my boyfriend miss me, because he’s all I have here. I just really want to take a knife to my wrists and make myself bleed to death. But I can’t. I don’t want to put my boyfriend through that. I love him too much to do it.
I’m sobbing as I’m writing this, and I just want someone to tell me that everything is going to be alright. That’s all I want right now.