Adjustments.

So I’m back with an update from my appointment earlier today. I am not sure if my diagnosis switched to schizoaffective disorder, but the doctor did know that I suffered from hallucinations and depression.  That may leave him with enough to diagnose me with schizoaffective, but I’m not sure if he would do it on the first day we met.

Unlike the nurse I saw, this doctor was very nice and professional.  He asked me more about my past and what I experienced in detail.  He decided to do something with my medication, which was unexpected in the way he approached it.

My risperidal is giving me a larger chest and causing me to be unable to lose weight, and it’s not helping my depression. So, my instructions are to start a new prescription, which is supposed to help me get a better grip on my depression.  It’s Abilify. It’s also a mood stabilizer, and it has less health risks, so no more twitching, bigger boobs, or weight gain. The trick with this is that I have to take Abilify with the Risperidal.  If, for some reason, it doesn’t work, I wouldn’t be left with nasty hallucinations.  If it does work, I’m going to decrease my Risperidal until it’s no more.  Then I can work on adjusting the Abilify.

Since insurance can be a bitch when it comes to approving this drug, I was given some samples.  I have to see him 2 weeks from now to see if my depression stays the same or improves. If it works, he’ll tell the insurance it works and that I’m on it, and that way, they can’t fight it.

Abilify will be the 3rd mood stabilizer that I’d been placed on within a year, and I’m kind of happy that I’m trying something different.  I feel more optimistic about this stabilizer than anyone I’ve been on, really. Of course, I’m scared the hallucinations will come back, but that’s a risk I’m willing to take.  I’m tired of not being normal, you know? I want to be able to have a stable relationship with someone, and I want to genuinely smile.  I want to be able to get rid of my negative thoughts. I want to be able to do things that I can’t do. I just want to be normal already.

So, I hope Abilify does that for me.  And if it doesn’t then I have to try something else.

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