31 Days of Bipolar – Days 1and 2

I found the questions here.

I’ve seen a lot of people doing this, so I decided to go and do this just for something to blog about. Besides, it could be fun, and I haven’t done a meme thing in quite a long time, so… Without further ado, here is day 1.

1. What flavour of bipolar are you? What does your diagnosis mean to you?

Oh, what flavor am I? I’d like to say strawberry, but since it has to do with bipolar, I am Bipolar Disorder NOS (not otherwise specified). There is a possibility that I could have Bipolar Disorder with Psychotic Features, but they still have not said if I have this or if I have schizoaffective disorder.

My diagnosis means that I have extreme ups and downs. I have a problem managing my moods, and that’s ok. It also means that I’m a creative individual and that I’m not ordinary.  That’s fine with me because ordinary is boring to me. I mean, other than that, it means nothing to me, really.

2. What is your baseline mood/state? How does that impact your life?

So, I actually had to think about this one. Given recent events, though, I think my baseline mood is depressive.  The reason why is because even though the psychosis is gone, I still have lingering depression. My depression has always been more intense than my mania as well.

My depression impacts my life socially, not academically or physically. I don’t feel like I want to talk to others. I’ve been very withdrawn with it. It’s caused me to self-harm to take the pain away. In the past, I have been known to switch religions based on my moods, with mania being related to Christianity and depression related to Paganism. I can’t tell you why, but it has been. I’m also very stingy when it comes to spending money, and I’m more helpful when I’m depressed.

Depression affects my life in a lot more ways, but I can’t think about all of them now. So, that’s been days 1 and 2.

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