Panic Attacks.

I had a panic attack at church today. (Yes, I have to go to church, but I find that some of the sermons help me as well.) You want to know why?

My boyfriend’s brother (mind you, the both of them live about 2 hours away) had appeared in the church I attend.  I assumed that he brought my boyfriend along.  Then, I panicked because of my relapses (I relapsed again, but it wasn’t all that bad), then I realized I had no control over the situation…  So I entered a state of panic and like I smothered myself in the crowd of people that was there.

So, what really kind of set me off was being guilty that I cut and that my boyfriend could have possibly been there. I’m still really anxious, and I’m still freaking out about it, but considering I’ve taken my anxiety meds today and doubled them because I needed it, I’m not supposed to freak out.

It’s scaring me now, and I don’t know what to do.  I also figured that I was hallucinating again, and it was just all me. I’m not sure if I’m going insane, but I’m really scared. I don’t know.

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