Hey, guys! I just got done with my classes for today, and this is my first day back. I survived, so that’s really good. But I wanted to talk about my opinion about a class that I’m taking: Abnormal Psychology. I wanted to learn more about my mental illness (whatever that is now) and pay attention to some of my own behaviors and compare it to the textbook.
Now, I am really anxious about this class. It’s not because the coursework is a little on the heavy side. It’s the topics. The teacher mentioned self-harm today. I wasn’t triggered by it, but I did feel a little uncomfortable. “Dangerous behaviors may indicate a mental disorder,” he said. “It’s obvious if someone’s cutting themselves that they are a danger to themselves. It’s easy to spot.”
Then, I retorted in my mind, “Yeah, sure, but some of us don’t let others see it on our wrists. Some of us do it on our ankles, legs… Some places that can only be seen in intimate situations.” What bothers me about this teacher is that he kind of assumes that all people injure themselves in the same way: With a razor, on their wrist, X amount of times. That sounds rude.
And then, on top of that, he said that if anyone has any experiences, they can share them with the class. I would love to share as I do online… But to have a lot of people look at you in a different light when you already have some social anxiety isn’t going to help me. Having people say, “Oh, she hallucinates, so she must be a psychopath” isn’t going to help me. People will more than likely psychoanalyze you if you share about your disorder. That’s how people in my age group work…
I thought I was going to have a fun time in this class, and I don’t want to drop it. It’s a GPA booster for me. But I must say, this whole experience made me dissociate (like, blank out dissociate as in actual dissociation) for some of the class. I just hope people don’t criticize my disorder. The whole situation may be awkward.