So, I decided to write about Tristan. Tristan is a hallucination that looks similar to Thayer, but he has longer hair and appears to look slightly more feminine. He’s also shorter too — about 5’9″. I do not like Tristan. He’s the worst hallucination I have… Well, one of the worst.
Like Thayer, Tristan started out like a character. I don’t remember how he got a voice, but I couldn’t only hear and see him there. I could feel him there. He wouldn’t talk to me, he would scream at me. He’d tell me that I was worthless and that I was one of the worst people to ever live. He told me that it’d be nice if I killed myself, then proceeded to tell me how many pills to take or where I should cut deep and how to go about it.
I remember waking up in the middle of the night and deciding to go to the bathroom. Tristan appeared right behind me and he started screaming in my ear. “You think you’ll escape me? You’ll never escape me.” He continued to scream and swear at me until I closed the door in the bathroom. I was so close to having a panic attack.
The worst part was that I believed it after a while. I was so anxious and depressed. I started hurting myself just to keep him away. It wasn’t lightly harming either. At one point, I had 100 cuts on my body, and some of them left scars. The last time I heard him was the last time I hurt myself. After I did that, I faintly heard him saying “I’m so proud of you.”
You can see why I really don’t like Tristan. He’s very disturbing to me, and just thinking about him makes my eyes water. I suppose that not all hallucinations can be sunshine and rainbows.