I decided to start talking about my hallucinations, and if I do that, I might find them to be tolerable. So, without further ado, let’s talk about them.
Thayer was a character that I made about a couple of years ago. I was rather attached to him, and I felt like he understood me. I used to roleplay with him on a website or 2, but I stopped because of the hallucinations frightening me. (I know, I’m a nerd.)
The thing that people don’t realize is that there’s good hallucinations as well. I have to admit, if it wasn’t for this hallucination, I wouldn’t have been sane. If another voice told me to try to starve myself, he would sit across from me and reassure me it was ok to eat. He’d fight off the others for me and they would leave me alone some time. Thayer’s pretty nice, to be honest with you.
When I started to take my first antipsychotic, he began to panic, and he didn’t want to leave me. So, he threatened me, saying that he was going to make me drink alcohol and become a drunk, and maybe someone would hurt me even worse. That period lasted for about 3 weeks. Maybe 4.
He’s still there, and he’s changed back into the nice “person” that he used to be. If I need someone to talk to, I just have a thought aimed towards him, and he’ll answer. Once in a while, he’ll make a comment towards people who treat me wrong or what-have-you. I usually just hear him, but once in a while I see him.
He’s got these large brown eyes and a tan skin tone. He stands at about 6’2″, and he’s got black hair. His voice is kind of deep and it has this compassionate vibe to it. It’s hard to describe him on paper, but I think you get the drift. If need be, I could sketch him out and show you guys…